Monday, 9 July 2012


Have you ever daydreamed? Sat there and found yourself wandering away on a cloud imagining your on a beach somewhere warm with no worries or cares and the only thing you can hear is the calm and relaxing noise of the distant waves as the sea gently rolls in and out.

Imagine your daydreams weren't so pleasant. That they involved finding yourself somewhere not so relaxing, somewhere frightening even, somewhere very confusing.

Gareth finds himself there sometimes. Its called Dissociating, a trick that is learned in childhood when you need to escape the here and now. Many of you will have heard of multiple personalities - this is an extreme form of dissociating and is in fact called Disociative Identity Disorder. Gareth doesn't have other personalities but he does have other realities that he creates when he is stressed. He doesn't know he is doing it, and often doesn't know which reality is really real.

It doesn't just cause confusion with Gareth, sometimes I don't know if he is dissociating or if something has really happened. Sometimes its easy to figure out but other times it takes its toll as Gareth can't bear being asked if something really happened. He feels he's being accused of lying and he's so scared of that.

I could say so much about dissociation but I will leave it there for now. For now we are trying to deal with Gareth losing two days sleep - this causes sleep deprivation psychosis, confusion, dissociation, depression... hopefully we will both get a good night's sleep tonight... for once!

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